I was sitting at a friends house the other day and there was a picture of a path...kind of like the one above. It was through a foggy forest. You can't see where the path ends, and it looks a bit scary to walk alone. My friend's had this picture hanging in his house since before I knew him, but this time when I visited, I had a different view of it. I never really gave it much thought before. I remember his mom telling him once that its a horrible picture to have hanging in his house. It doesn't offer balance and warmth that a house should have. I kind of laughed it off, but the more I looked at it this time around, the more I understood what she meant. Who wants such a lonely picture welcoming you home? Who wants to take a path that leads to the unknown...alone? It's not normal for use to want that. As I was sitting there thinking to myself and all of these interpretations were going through my head, I blurted out, "Why can't I be normal and be satisfied with a normal life - life in suburbia with a house, husband, family and security? Why do I have to choose this path that I walk alone into the unknown?" Alex quickly replied, "Because you're not wired that way. You enjoy adventure and the unknown." I accepted the answer. I do live for adventure. I jump out of airplanes without question. I pick up and move to the middle east with little hesitation. I travel across Thailand in an overnight train, ferry, bus, plane...whatever gets me there. I eat at fish markets with no USDA regulations. I have dinner with strangers and hear stories I'll never hear in my local Starbucks. I go to islands off the coast of Kuwait and play in old Iraqi tanks while being stranded because our car wont start. I feed sea turtles and dig in gem mines and drink king coconut milk in a local's house in Sri Lanka. I wouldn't take it back for an extra year in suburbia with security and food regulations. My question is, how long does this chapter last, or is this a lifestyle change? Whatever it is, how do I make the most of it?
When I left Kuwait for the summer, I was dead set on this visit to America being just that - a visit. I had found paradise in Kuwait. I have such an awesome group of friends, gas is cheap, I can get anything delivered, I can fly anywhere in the world for not much at all, and they love Americans. Is that what this gift of life is all about - having an easy life? This trip to America this summer has definitely exceeded my expectations. My travels typically do, but my travels are normally venturing off into the unknown. America's not the unknown for me. I've traveled it quite a bit. I expected to visit old friends, see a few places I've missed and jump on a plane back to my paradise. I'd say there's truth in that, but as I said - my expectations were surpassed.
I was able to catch up with old friends, make new ones, and strengthen friendships that were just mere acquaintances before I left. Sadly, I didn't get to see everyone that I planned to visit this summer, but I challenge you to visit everyone important in your life in just a summer. It's impossible, unless of course I cut some trips short or skipped out on a few things here and there, but if you know me at all, you know I'm not wired that way.
I had a guest speaker my first year of teaching that I will never forget. His motivational speech was so simple, but it stuck. He said that as Americans, (and I've learned this past year that this goes for human beings in general), we all naturally live for the next milestone, or the next thing to check off the list. As teachers, we watch the clock for the bell to ring and the next class to come, for the day to end, for the week to end, for the next break, for summer break, for retirement, etc. How often do we "stop and smell the roses" of the moment? I'm so guilty of this, especially the vacation thing. I counted down the days to Sri Lanka, Thailand, Turkey, Dubai, Jordan and wherever else I got to go this past year.
I always look at my Grandpa and Grandma Wagner and say to myself, "they've figured it out." They genuinely embrace every day given to them. When I visited them this summer, every day was filled with simple things, but each moment was cherished by them, and by me. My grandfather has a woodworking shop in his backyard that is the most make-shift shop I've ever seen. He's created his own saw dust vacuum, and used other tools to do jobs of tools he doesn't have. To see his excitement while he told me all about the little things he's made brought it all together for me. Life is what you make it. You can choose to check off the next milesone, but what happens when everything checked off? What's the next milestone? You're funeral? Have fun with that. I never want to finish a checklist of life.
As I was thinking, how can I be more like my grandparents? How can I appreciate all of the blessings given to me? I may not be wired to have the normal suburbia life and go through the normal stages of life, but how can I better appreciate the life God so graciously granted me? When I thought of my grandparents' life, it dawned on me, of course they soak up every moment. They have no job, no children at home, no deadlines. They have volunteer work, traveling, mass, and daily walks to complete. I got a little taste of retirement this summer. No deadlines, no job, clearly no children, no obligations - just travel, visit people and enjoy. I've had a job since I was old enough to work, sometime a few jobs at a time. When we have responsibilities that others are dependent on, we automatically make it a job to complete those obligations. What happens when you have no obligations? I was a bit nervous about having the entire summer off. How would I stay busy? What if I get bored? I can't even sit still for 5 minutes! So, as I traveled and went nonstop, I was naturally able to stop and enjoy it all. I could take detours and it didn't affect anything. I could stay an extra day here or there and it was fine. I was able to take a walk with my grandpa and we had one of the best talks ever! He gave some great life advice and encouragement. I was able to sit with Danielle and watch the sun set over the Dallas skyline, and see a ton of sunrises with her as well. :) I was able to have fun day with Zach Ray, story time with Alex, a road trip with my dad, pool time with the Hendersons, and a fancy dinner catered to us by the Chef at Borgne in New Orleans with Mike and Matt. I was able to meet the coolest group of Canadians while dancing around Lollapalooza with them. I was able to visit my Aunt Heidi one more time before she was called home. I never made a checklist of these things and I didn't really sweat it if something didn't get done. I think that's how it should be. Matthew 6:34. Look it up.
My Texas flag!
A glimpse of my road trip with my dad
pool time with the Hendersons
Borgne in New Orleans
Fun Day with Zach Ray
So many memories made with her this summer
My new awesome Canadian friends!
Lollapalooza - definitely becoming an annual trip.
Some quality time with an old friend - Alex
So how do I carry this way of living into the school year? How do I balance both work and staying focused on absorbing every moment? A lot of people tell me I'm doing it right. They tell me they always wish they would have taken a few years before "starting life" just to travel. They tell me they wish they had the guts to just pick up and leave everything to go overseas. I totally recommend it to everyone, but I advise anyone who chooses this path to make the most of every moment, and document everything. I promise you, you wont remember everything, and for those introverts out there, you'll have to come out of your shell and become extroverts. It's a must!
My goal this year is to live every single day with the same mindset I've had this summer. Who cares if I have work 5 days a week? Who ever said that teaching can't be treated as a treat? People always say, if you pick a career that you love, it wont be a job at all, but rather a privilege. Although teaching wasn't my original career patch, it quickly became a privilege rather than a job. I was able to embrace every moment this summer because I was doing exactly what I wanted to do, no matter the day or the time. Teachers, you know those classes where the bell rings and you're in complete shock and so are the students? You look at each other and you say, "Is that the bell already? Are we on a shortened schedule? Alright...fine. No homework. We'll pick up here tomorrow." This typically happens more when you have motivated students (it happened a lot more in Kuwait). My point is, as cliche as it sounds, "Time flies when you're having fun."
That's my challenge this school year - have so much fun that time flies, but not for reasons I used to want time to fly - reach the next deadline, bell or vacation, but rather it would be because I'm embracing the moments given to me. I'm so blessed to have this life I've been given. I'm glad I'm wired the way I am. Why rush through it? You teachers know that if the students can see motivation and passion in teachers, they too will be motivated to be passionate.
Work is just one category of my life that serves as the best example of how I'm going to try to love my life more. I'll try to spill this challenge into the smaller things as well - the drive to work, chores, exercise, socializing, travel, etc. I know...I sound like some sort of person who's high on life and you pessimists out there are laughing at me right now, but that's ok. Too many times we get caught up in the obligations of life that we forget that it's the best gift ever given to us. How often have you received a gift and seen it as an obligation, chore or series of checklists that you're ready to be finished with instead of a blessing that you're thankful for? Not often? Then why treat life that God so graciously handed to us as an obligation, chore or series of checklists instead of a gift? So, my challenge to us as human beings is to treat life as a gift, use the heck out of it, love it and cherish it. Live each moment as its the most precious one given to you. Don't get caught up in the deadlines, chapters, stages and obligations. I don't believe that's what the instructions say.
Farewell, America. It's been an awesome ride. Kuwait, I'll see you in a few days! I hope you're ready!
